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Christy, the Woo Woo Gangsta Witch!

I have been called some names in my time, but never a witch! Last night, I was doing a Reiki session. Yes, I am a Reiki MASTER of the universe! OK, maybe not of the universe, but I do #energyhealing. Sooometimes (aka always), I take it a step further. I have been very intuitive my whole life. Especially as a child, I would constantly see 'visions'. HEY don't leave! I am not done yet. Chill out, no heebeejeeebie goblins will get you. Or me? I hope. I even got visions about my adoption that were spot on. Honestly, I freak myself out sometimes, but is part of fierce mama. I am fiercely intuitive. So, when I started practicing Reiki, the visions and intuition was heightened. And it comes out during my sessions. I will get messages or feelings, and give the clients the option to hear them. Every single client has said they wanted to hear whatever I receive. Well, last night, my intuition was a little too on point (hey, it happens?!) and my client yelled "I am about to be inappropriate, but what freakin' kind if witch are you?!?" We laughed and she said she wants to do another session, so I guess I am the good kind.

Interested in #Reiki with lil ol me?

PAST LIFE CHRISTY: Jewel and Snoop Dogg had a baby and it was me.

Speaking of woo woo stuff, we started identifying/studying crystals today. That is a benefit (or consequence) of having a part #hippiemom.

I am definitely not a 'granola' mom. I don't eat organic, unless they have organic ho-ho's, and I don't sleep in tents. But I have a free spirit and like weed. I'm joking, calm down. Jeez, take some CBD oil. The other half of me is gaudy and a little gangsta. No, I don't look the part, I look like the basic b #suburbanmom chick with #glitter thrown all over her. But let me give you a little insight of what I am talking about. First of all, I am obsessed with 90's rap. Especially #SnoopDogg. He doesn't know it yet, but we are soulmates. I took hip hop dance for decades, and would like to think I can still swagger around the dance floor. Everyone but me may disagree, but who am I here to impress? Me and Snoop. And he knows swagger when he sees it, so I am not worried. Second, I have an unhealthy lack of fear when it comes to protecting myself or my friends. On a lovely day in high school, my scrawny 5'2" 90lb a$$ was being ganged up on by some TRUE thugs that threw several boulders at my friends and I. Instead of 1. shutting up, 2. leaving, or 3. offering them free swagger lessons , I proceeded to scream back at them. When one of the boulders hit my friend in her stomach and she couldn't breathe, I got up and started running Forrest Gump style at them. 3 of them. I have never run so fast and simultaneously had no idea what I was doing in my life. But, clearly they smelt the gangsta in me, because they ran as fast as I did, and eventually lost me. We will never know what I would have done if I reached them. Perhaps died. That's my 'cool guy' story for the day. Let's continue.

Let's get together some tips for dealing with 2020 homeschool/virtual school/school that don't matter because this is all just a nightmare we are going to wake up from.

  1. Don't follow all of the rules. Seriously. This is BS. Some of the crap I am reading about how parents need to do XYZ during a pandemic, while kids are strapped to a computer all day, and parents are working, is not realistic. Do the best you can. The 'breaks' you are supposed to engage with your kids with...instead, teach them independence, let them play and get to be a kid for that hour and you go do what you have to do. Shove a donut down the ol' shoot while you are at it, too. You deserve it. Save me a piece, you greedy a$$.

  2. Remember that we are all in this together. Look, a lot of people have differing views on handling this entire pandemic. I am a germaphobe who is overly cautious and feel like wow, everyone now knows what it is like to be me! How dry do those hands feel from all the washin', Sally? Not fun, right? Then you have the other extreme, the people who didn't get the memo that there is a pandemic and basically post pics of themselves licking the faces of anybody within 40 feet of them quoting themselves, "We can't stop living!" Well...yes you can and you just may. Anyway, I am not here to judge, but, Shara, that isn't how you build your immune system. I hope the alcohol burns the germs off for you, though. In the end, we are all in a crazy world right now and there are many unknowns in the world and school systems. We are all in it together, and we will come out on the other side. Hopefully before 2040. We will all come out of this changed, some a little hairier, some a little larger and some with acne and dry hands. But we will come out of it...together. This is not forever.

  3. Control what you can control. Judge all you want, I do (I lied earlier about not judging), but that will not change how others act. We were all raised differently, we all will handle our school/home life differently. Focus on your own path. Focus on what you can control. Do what you can to help others and causes you have passion for...and trust what you cannot control, works out. And if it doesn't, you are looking at the best life coach in town. For an extra $5, I will throw in some swagger lessons.

That's me in the corner, that's me in mind?! Yep, mama swag right there dancing on my YouTube channel. Oh you didn't know about that?

Be true to you...


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